Thank You to My Lucky Stars

Hahahaha, for the first time this week, I really feel relieve. Since i got into the office at 10pm today, work is put on hold. Hehehehe... yup systems down... It's almost lunchtime and Varolli hasn't come back to life yet. I have to thank my lucky stars for this. If my constellation has already changed its path, then she has my thanks too.... wahahahahaha. I just hope that this will last the entire shift. Yehey. The doctor told me that the reason why I got sick is due to over fatigue, then fate has made a way to get me rested even for just several hours. Since I couldn't afford an absence from work, fate has interfered. Hehehehe. Thank you so much... I can't show you how grateful I am. As the saying goes, no matter how bad everthing is going on with your life, as always there can be someone or something that can make you laugh. Hahaha... really and I'm getting burnt out from my job. Yup it isn't actually a career, putting it bluntly, it's just a freaking job, unfortunately it's the one that puts food and water on our table so there is no way I could give it up at this point of time. unless I get another one.

I may have lots of issues at the moment, but for this alone, I feel thankful somehow. At least one burden has been taken out of my shoulder. hehehehehe

Well, life will never hold everything at a bay, as always the tide will turn. I just hope that soon everything in my life will fall into their respective places.

But for now.... I can't be thankful enough, even for just this simple thing. Thank you, thank you and thank you!

Sana bukas ulit. Wahahahahaha

Where The Light Touches The Earth

Life they say isn’t fair. It maybe true or it may not be. I can not really honestly say that life is fair at all. I have my share of laurels and foul ups. Maybe we need to be treated unfair at times so that we may learn how to be fair to other people. Whenever I wake up each day, I can’t help but noticed that time has indeed flown so fast. I can not help but reminisce my childhood. I was young and vibrant then, so full of hope that the world will welcome me in banquets. When I have grown a little older though, I realized that life isn’t a fairy tale. Well, even fairy tales have villains, don’t they? It was then that I found out that the world is not as friendly as I thought it would be. There are lots of faces in this world. I have met people who have been great to me, some of them I have kept my friendship for the past two decades. They are the people I know I can trust my life with. And even in distance they are the friends who are happy with the success that I have had, if ever there was and they are also the people who help divide the sorrows that I had. There are also people I have met in passing, some of them left good memories with me and there are some people who, however short the stint they had with my life had left an undeniable pain and discomfort. There are also those friends who had turned to foes and vice versa. At this point of time, I am once again in the crossroads… or should I say highway? I am still a traveler, like I was once, still unsure of where the roads are heading. Somehow there is this unexplained loneliness from within me. I feel unappreciated and left out. This feeling that I have where in however hard I tried; whatever I do will never be enough. I am not enough. People sometimes need an assurance that they are being loved. Hilarious as it may appear but as the old adage goes, the essence of life is in loving. People love to be loved. People need other people and we need to be needed as well. It’s a fact of life. It may be symbiosis in an ecosystem. And as a member of the homo sapien, I feel those feelings. It’s a typical causal-effect relationship. I understand other people but I also want them to understand me. I don’t know! Geez, I maybe on my emo- mode right now, as they call it or I’ve just been quite really sensitive the past few days. I just feel really sad, not to mention this back pain and fever coupled with headache and colds that I have for quite a few days now. It’s really draining the energy out of me. I just want to take a rest. I just want not to worry about anything else. I hope I could be a child once again and just be carefree. Well, that definitely is quite an impossible wish… At this state, I just want to be at peace. I don’t want to be hurt in any way. I don’t want any imbalances at this point. Changes are inevitable though if indeed there are some things that need to be changed and if it will cause discomfort to me in any way, I just want to bring it on and get it over with. I have been through a lot so I am quite confident that I will get through it. Life they say never offers an assurance that everything will always be alright. Along one’s journey, something is always bound to rock the trip. Oh well, what matters there is you get to your destination quite safe. At this moment though I just want to be in a tranquil state, somehow though something stirs from beneath. At this point I am too weak to oppose it. If it is how the constellation aligns their path, then I’ll just try my best to get out of the way and not get too scathed.

Then one day it will rearrange its way very much aligned to my path and perhaps I’ll get the chance to get to go to the mountain where the light touches the earth… For now, I just hope that everything will be alright or should I say everything is alright.

Just Some Thoughts

Just damn tired... I want to take a rest but I can't... I can't afford another absent from work, it's going to pull me down bigtime. Just been to clinic and at this time I'm burning with fever at 38.6. Oh I have a choice to go home but that will blotch a big consequence, so I can't choose that option... haay... add the fact that bills are piling up and enrollment of the kids are getting near... Need to save for them. I'll take some chances on betting at a lottery... who knows I might win? Hahahaha that is if I won't be lazy enough and could drag myself to the lottery booth to bet. I doubt it though... I'd rather take some sleep when i get home.

Really I wanna go to the zennith of the mountain and cry out on the top of my voice... I'm pissed, yup I feel so bad. Some people just don't know how to appreciate other people. Oh well, I shouldn't be surprised, some people are just like that. I guess I just feel so bad and taken for granted... well whoever said life is easy and fair? No one right?

Just tired
Wanna go to sleep but cant
because I need to work
Cant afford to be absent
Lots of bills to worry about
Enrollment is drawing near
The children need lots of stuffs

I have a splitting headache
But resting is not an option
Can't at this time
Later yup, when my shift concluded

Still edgy
A little bit pissed off
Somehow annoyed
Oh well,
Maybe I'm being over sensitive
But who won't be?
If you feel taken for granted?
If you've done so much for someone and doesn't feel appreciated?
Oh well maybe I wasn't really important to him
Lesson learned, value myself
Then at least I won't get such disappointment.

Just tired...
Wanna take a vacation
Just want to take a long sleep
With no worries
Nothing to think of...
Is there such a place?
I'd love to go there....

Oh well...some wishful thoughts...

Can I Have Some Rest?

It has been a while since I have last visited this site... I stopped my regular postings as I noticed that most of them are actually rants and I'm getting tired of myself as well. Sadly though my post today is nothing but rant again... geez, Life!

I guess I woke up at the wrong side of the bed this week. My Monday was a not so good Monday... Oh it has got nothing to do with elections. Haays I am really getting tired of my work... So much pressure, but I have limited choices at this time. Even if I wanted to quit work, that won't be an option at this time. With three kids, the bills and all those daily expenses not working can not really be my choice. Payday today... sadly though my ATM isn't with m. I borrowed money from an office mate and he neede my ATM as collateral. Geez, it's been a while since I'm with the company where I am at right now but it looked like I haven't bought anything for myself... hayys... I have planned to buy that sofa and yet up until now, I havent got that sofa yet. Sometimes I just want to take a break... I'm really tired of not getting enough sleep and yet I have to bring myself to work because I need to. I wish I can take a week off, just be with myself and sleeeeeepppp. Boy I'm just glad my eldest daughter is having her vacation at Bicol... I also want to take my vacation, but time and funds won't allow it... Geee I'm really tired. Guess I gotta park now... I still have work later, has to do it, I have limited choices. My work sucks, I don't want to be there, I don't want to do it but I just have to.