That's Life

Still in a gloomy mood. No changes, worst is, it's getting worse... yup. I feel like I just want to fade in oblivion, feel like running away, run as far as I could, perhaps to the farthest ends of earth. I just want to go home, shut myself inside the room and close my eyers, hear no sound, feel nothing, obliviate if I could. I don't know really... there is just this feeling of uneasiness with in me, cloud of doubt. It really feels awful, a certain paranoia perhaps. I just don't know. Will I ever trust again? Will I be capable of believing without any tint of doubt at the back of my mind? There are lots of things throbbing my mind. I used to be so trusting, believing that no one is going to hurt me, but I was dead wrong. Well like what I used to say, whoever said that life is fair? In a world where survival of the fittest thrives, fairness hardly ever exist. Yup, it's out of my own experience. Indeed the best teacher that I have. I was so trusting back then, always believing that there is always goodness in someone.... until I've learned my lesson the hardest way! Betrayal by people you trusted the most and being mauled over physically by a person I barely know, that led to a miscarriage, yup, no exaggeration if I had the scanner, I would have posted the entire ultra sonographic report about this, yup this happen more than a year ago, Oct 21, 2006 around 11 pm in front of Mini stop at Robinson's galleria! Yup just across EDSA shrine, isn't it ironic? Well that's life! Anyway as of the moment, I have not gotten the luxury of time to tete-a-tale the entire thing that took place that night, I'm at work, maybe if I'll have the time, one day I will write everything that has happened... definitely not now. Yup here I am at the office, doing thesame boring job which is never satisfying nor anything I fancy nor dreamt about. Stupid isn't it? That here I am, stuck with this job I NEVER even LIKE.... why? For financial reasons. Even if I would want to transfer to the career that my heart really desires I just can't... even if the OPPORTUNITY is once again knocking on my door, I just CAN"T take it due to financial constraints! Bullocks? You can say that.... well again, that's life! Sometimes you take the final examination long before you even take the lessons. Life! Haaayyyy!!!